Adolescence is one of the most important processes in human life in order to be a healthy and successful adult individual. Getting through this process efficiently is essential for being a successful individual. However, it is not possible for an individual to go through this process in a healthy way without support from parents and close environment. The biggest duty falls on the parents to complete the adolescence period as it should. For this reason, child and parent relationships during adolescence have a very important place in the personality development of the child. The child, who will be in search of personality, gets into personality confusion when he cannot get enough support from his parents. This can lead to undesirable consequences such as an aggressive personality, misbehavior, and an introverted individual in the child’s youth.
What is the adolescence period?
In the scientific literature, the period from the age of 11-13, when puberty begins, to young adulthood, is called adolescence. In this period, in addition to the physiological developments in the child, the development of sexual identity is also at the highest level. This means that many of the urges in adolescents, as well as sexual drives, arise. The emergence of sexual urges causes development confusion in the adolescent.
During this period, adolescents are very interested in their opposite sex friends, and they always find the opposite sex more interesting in new friendships. Because of the intensity of these relationships, adolescents become more interested in themselves physically and mentally than ever before. This can lead them to become narcissistic over time. They are always in the forefront, always think of themselves, and are too defensive to their environment. This is because their image is so important to others. Cross-sex friends with whom adolescents have relationships are physically or personally similar to their parents. Adolescents prefer to associate with people who are similar to their parents with certain characteristics. Based on this, by being a good role model for the children by the parents, it can be ensured that the friendships they have acquired are better.
How should parent-child relationships be during adolescence?
The main purpose of adolescents is to get rid of dependence on family members and learn to establish mature relationships with the opposite sex. In addition to the relationships established with the opposite sex, the adolescent learns to socialize, participate in activities with the group, and develop himself according to the profession he chooses. The desire to marry emerges gradually during this period. The most important support of the child, who goes through many processes and stages, is also the parents. Children who are defensive towards their environment should be more open to their family by approaching and understanding them in a constructive way. It should be ensured that the adolescent child who tries to socialize will have better relationships by supporting him / her in the problems he / she will experience. It should be ensured that he is more active in the activities he participates with the groups. Parents can achieve this by being a role model for their children more actively in the activities they participate in.
Seeking new friendships, the adolescent child wants to make good friends rather than parents. It would be a correct method to approach the child who wants this as a friend instead of acting like a classic mother and father. It is important to try to establish a positive relationship with the opposite sex instead of preventing them from getting hurt in their relationships. Adolescents who will try many friendships will experience failures in their relationships. Parents should set an example to their children as to what kind of friend they should choose as a good friend. Although constantly giving advice to adolescents is perceived as a good and permanent education method in the society, its effect in this period is negligible. For this reason, it is a more effective method to listen to the child instead of telling something to the child.